‘Escalation Dominance’ is a phrase I first encountered as an undergraduate reading about nuclear weapons policy. As wars escalate there is one side that controls the largest potential for destruction, the upward end of the escalation curve. That endpoint is escalation dominance, when the war cannot become any hotter. The theory was that we wanted to own that terminus because then the Soviet Union would not fuck with us.
As a concept it is not overly theoretical and its utility is suspect. Or so we thought. My debate coach did his PhD work with Whalen and we knew not to fuck with him because he controlled escalation dominance. That’s probably all I need to say about the story. Poking the bear and all.
Nicodemus and I opened a can of mustard sauced sardines and put it in the driver’s seat of Whalen’s rental car. It was not supposed to be a joke that went as far as it did. In any case, Whalen did not see the can and he sat down on it and then reached down and stuck his fingers inside it. This is the problem with escalation dominance as a deterrence strategy. Sometimes people know they do not own that terminus and yet they act, thinking that there will not be escalation. Israel could attack Iranian nuclear facilities thinking they have political cover (treaties, unilateral guarantees, etc.) and the aggrieved party then feels a need to respond (internal politics, illegitimacy of treaties and unilateral guarantees, etc.).
We knew we were in for some trouble. What we had thought would be funny and not invoke Whalen’s ire had backfired. It is even possible that Whalen did exactly what we expected (saw the opened can) and decided he would make our innocent prank not-so-innocent by playing it up. Regardless of how we ended up where we were, we knew Whalen would escalate and that it would outpace any retaliation we could conceive.
Whalen convinced our roommate to give him the room key. When we opened the door to our hotel room it smelled like Fisherman’s Wharf. There were oysters in our shoes. A live goldfish was swimming in the toilet. A mackerel was tucked into my bed, so its head was on the pillow. One eye looking up at me.
It was a long trip and after a few days there was still the smell of fish. Whalen took pity on my roommates, especially the one that loaned him the room key and told us that he had upper decked us. The real upper deck is when you have access to someone’s toilet and you take a shit in the tank and not in the bowl. There was another mackerel in the tank and that is what had been stinking up the place.
I never again fucked with Whalen. Escalation dominance was established, but only after a test.